The Saints defeated the Colts for the forty-forth Super Bowl Title in Miami last night. I am taking some of the credit for their victory. I conspired with my friend to insure their victory. We worked together for the Alabama Crimson Tide to provide them with their undefeated season and BCS Championship victory against Texas last month, a month ago to the day, to be exact. I say we conspired because it seems, we have a mythical power between us. We don't have to be together--just text mesages back and forth and the team we are pulling for has won the games we are watching seperatly. Strange but true. Of course it could be purely coincidental.
All I do some days is think about her. I try to call and text her and I rarely get a responce. She is not into me at all. We used to work together. I am in crazy love with her and she's purely indifferent as to me and my affection. I am incapable of moving on or look for someone else to love. She is all I want out of this life. And I can't have her. That to me is the crulest irony life is capable of bestowing upon a soul. To have a simple connection like the one we have and not the ability to consecrate the relationship is crule irony and so far I refuse to accept my fate. I am not willing to let her have her way and move on. My tired old heart will soon give out for the lack of returned affection. The lonliness is too much to bear.
My turns to moderate the affection have gone unheard by my poor tired heart. I am not willing to give up. I never see her and only hear from her often enough to keep this faint hope alive. I was shocked when she text back last night. She was betting on the Colts, not believing the Saints has the stuff to convert their first Super Bowl into the Lombardi, but she under estimated our mojo. She's pretty smart, but may have convinced herself by now that I am to blame for the bet she lost. It's not my fault, but I am prepared to accept my part of the credit for the Saints' victory.
I have text her twice since I started this post and she is ignoring me. She hates me--I am convinced of that. She resents ugly people that fall in love with her. I think that's the way pretty people are. They don't mind being courted by other beautiful people, but don't a ugly one dare try to feel an affection. That's taboo. I am sorry dear friend, I really just wanted to be your soul mate and feel our two hearts together as one. I am so hoplessly in love.
God, thank you for finding the sweet spirit she has shown me. I am in love with her now, but I know she deserves better than me. I am willing to, when you say it is time Lord, let her fade away into my past and become another painful memory. One more piece of my heart is about to die. I prayed hard to you for her Lord. I ask that you always look over her and know that I had honorable ideas about taking care for the rest of my life; loving her and caring for her. You know Lord that I am not equipped to have the care of another spirit. I am barely able to care for my own. I am your humble servant and I am doing my best Lord to let this pretty woman be. She is my heart now and I am barely able to do a thing without seeing her in my life. Will this sadness ever leave me? Will I forever bear this heavy heart?
Amen.
WPCannon
1432
08 February 2010
Mount Vernon Public Library
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